Killing the INSANITY

oh yea so im here killing the time, nothing to do since i didnt go to school today. WOW, im becoming aware of my tenses already. well anyway,

it's been a month since my last post here about the funeral of Former-President Cory Aquino. Now, I'm back.. Back to my real world that I've escaped a few months ago..

How did I escaped the fantasy I've made? Simple... 360 degrees change process. SERIOUSLY! First I cut my boring long hair to shoulder length one. Promising myself to wake up every morning and heat the water. Stop eating RICE. and yea i was successful... until.. now?
what's with the question mark? Because, I don't know if I will be successful enough to continue on. I've lost my motivation and inspiration.

Let me share the fantasy...

I've dreamed about that person a few months already, being a couple. HECK!! The only thing that makes me feel like this is, without him knowing it he's making me fall for him... more and more. from brother to crush to someone I care and love. It could be a perfect relationship, but he already has a girlfriend.. the only thing that makes me happy to be with him is he really treats me as his little sister. He really cares and loves me :) I'm sure of it. really sure. I just got the most wonderful news yesterday.. he broke up with her. it makes me sad because that girl BROKE my onii-sama's heart T_T. WONDERFUL? because I might get a chance who knows right XD

That's the first fantasy, the second one is...
About my long time crush since second year :"> i really do like her at first... then the next time i don't then after a few months I do.. let's call it puppy love. hmm. confusing right. I really don't know what's going on with me. I like HER i hate HER. I care about HER, I don't. I worry and ignore. hmm.. hopefully, she will not notice it. But my conscience tells me that she does. Oh BTW, I'm not a LESBIAN. I'm a girl girl :))

How can this two fantasies confuse, hurt and depress me? GRR. I don't want to think about it i really dont but once in a while it will cross my mind and makes me think about it again and again and again.

WAHAHAHA :)) Oh sorry about my uncalled laughter, I'm currently in a rollercoaster ride :D

anyway.. enough is enough. thou shall hide thy once self :D read my other blog

www.multicoated.livejournal.com no content much since I've deleted my other account and I'm still improving and thinking of what to post :)